Thirty
This is thirty. Similar to many individuals, I was not prepared mentally to have the pandemic alter our lives drastically. In these past few months, I have not been creating any new content on The Crystal Avenue or on my social platforms. Why? I personally felt uneasy, looking back at a happier time that now seems and feels distant. This uneasy sentiment made me realize I am still adapting to what self love means to me and how tough I still am on myself. With that said, I know I need to lower my own self expectations as well to feel my emotions, to stay mentally healthy.
Now that I am officially saying goodbye to my twenties, I looked back at the letter I wrote of what I was looking forward to as a twenty nine year old. I can confidently say I met my goals and lived by my terms. I was able to take the same confidence I showcase in my photos and actually express the feeling in my day to day interactions. I still would like to increase my confidence levels in this upcoming year, so stay tuned. I also no longer feel resistance in vocalizing my sentiments or feeling guilty about not being able to cater to everyone’s needs timely. Thankfully the success of this particular goal is also due to the core set of companions, who did not question why I needed time for myself. Lastly, I stayed open to life. As a result, life presented itself with fruitful opportunities, beautiful friendships, and heartful lessons that I am appreciative of.
I am very thankful to be breathing and living. I am elated to live in Los Angeles, a city that has given me more adventures and growth than I ever could have imagined. I am fortunate to have my family and core friends, who have been my constant support system through life’s trivial and joyous moments. I am blessed to develop my career at a company that looks out for my mental health, challenges me to grow daily, and to be working alongside my career mentor. I am grateful to have met, love unconditionally, nurture and continually grow with my partner as each day passes. I am looking forward to refining my self love, taking more chances, and continually finding silver linings during this uncertain time. This is thirty.
Photography by Steve Tong
